The day I learned my bf was on

The day I learned my bf was on

In pursuit of a dating ensure

I went from country club wifey and mother of high school students to a single, 39-year-old &ldquo,cougar.&rdquo, In this weekly feature, I will share with you all the mind-boggling, head-scratching, is-this-someone&rsquo,s-idea-of-a-joke moments from my so-called single life. Consider this your private invitation to my tremendous learning curve&hellip,

By now you may be familiar with the story of Mary Kay Beckman, the Las Vegas woman who sued Match.com when her date stabbed her Ten times and kicked her in the head. And you thought your date last Saturday night was a disaster?

Still, is Mary paving the way for many of us whose online dating practice didn&rsquo,t go so well? Let me share my story, and you tell me if I have a case&hellip,

Those in a relationship need not apply

So I had been going out with this total meatball for over a year. One minute he was in love with me, the next minute he &ldquo,needed his space.&rdquo, And I tolerated his bulls*** because I was recently divorced, and plainly put, I was an idiot. Later I found out that this stud was sleeping with other women each time he told me &ldquo,he needed space.&rdquo, Gross.

It was a long-distance relationship and on the last occasion, he gave me the run-around. I drove home alone, on Valentine&rsquo,s Day, five hours away. As I drove, the words of my friend telling me I indeed needed to register with an online dating service echoed in my head. Coincidentally, I had a writing assignment about online dating, so I thought &ldquo,What the hell.&rdquo, I had to do something to get over that instrument once and for all.

Yes, this was during a time in my life when I had not yet gained an appreciation for just being single for a while. The next morning I woke up, went downstairs and registered with an online dating service. I got to attempt it for free, and I could keep my profile hidden while I &ldquo,shopped&rdquo, my possible matches. (I attempted not to think about the guys who would do the same to me if I became a paying member. Eww.)

“This was joy!” I thought as I answered all those questions that it had been a while since anyone cared enough to ask me about myself (and yes, I realize I was being asked by a dating service that dreamed my money. My love life had, indeed, become that pathetic.). I found a picture my talented photog friend had taken of me on my 40th bday, and I was ready to stalk. Um, look.

Match.com had some interesting ideas about who they thought would be a good match for me. I like to do things outdoors, so I was matched with a lot of guys in sleeveless beer shirts with missing teeth. On page five of my matches, I eyed a tall man who looked vaguely familiar. I clicked on his picture. And. There. He. Was.

My beau of over a year! That bast*** had a Match.com account! How long had he had it? Lord only knows. His profile said he had two kids. He has five. His age limit for compatible matches was 21-41. This is where I commenced to dry-heave. I was 41, he was 43. I have a daughter who was 17 at the time. So did he want to date my daughter instead?

Can he do that?

If I wasn&rsquo,t already weary from the journey the day before, I would have gotten in my car, driven back across the state, knocked on his front door, junk-punched him with all my might, while screaming, (a la What Happens in Vegas) &ldquo,You know why!&rdquo,

I had nursed that pig back to health when he was sick. I had cared for his children as if they were my own. I had trusted him when he didn&rsquo,t deserve it. Unlike Mary Kay, I didn&rsquo,t sue Match.com for not notifying me that my beau was registered with an online dating service. I determined to get even instead.

Not-so-sweet vengeance

I would showcase him. We were a match. (I guess I have that one face-saver to string up onto. A computer database matched us, so I hadn&rsquo,t been totally off in left field thinking we were a good match.) If I published my profile, he would see it.

That&rsquo,s exactly what I did. I clicked on &ldquo,publish&rdquo, and stepped away from my computer, for eight hours. I came back to my computer, nosey to see who had viewed my profile. I had 236 views. In eight hours. I had 17 emails. Now I felt sick to my belly for a different reason. Why did I feel like a bunch of strange studs were crowded around my dining room window, peering into my house with their pants down around their ankles?

My little plan of vengeance had backfired. I instantly eliminated my profile (which he never eyed). So if Mary Kay wins her $Ten million lawsuit, maybe along with insisting on background checks and more prominent disclaimers, Match.com could also ask potential candidates if they are already in a relationship and/or sleeping with someone before they are permitted to register!

More on dating

How to know if he’s just a hookup

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