As the world’s premier producer of transmale adult entertainment, people have been asking me for years where and how they could meet FTMs. I’ve also responded to innumerable questions from transmen, wondering about the best way to meet potential playmates. This struck a particularly individual chord with me, as I met my own wifey over ten years ago in an online group. I knew the Internet held good promise as an effective place to seek a playmate. Everyone else from pet owners to sports fans all had their own corner of the web to meet each other. But there was still no special dating site catering to the unique needs of transmen.
Much of the correspondence I’ve received from FTMs voiced sadness and despair as these boys felt it was unlikely that they could ever meet a fucking partner. The psychological ramifications of gender non-conformity are intense and can lead to feelings of isolation and depression. The overriding theme of my work is about self-love and acceptance, and displaying that transmen indeed are sexy and desirable.
You can’t necessarily tell a transman from any other kind of man in social situations, so many FTMs are awkward with meeting people in bars and clubs. Why? Well the question of disclosure can be a tricky one. How and when should the subject come up? Simply throwing out, “By the way, did you know I was born female?” may not always go over well. However, a dating site that caters specifically to this type of clientele entirely eliminates the need to deal with those awkward and potentially unpleasant encounters.
While it may come as a surprise to the general public, there are slew of studs and women of all kinds who have an interest in dating transmen. When I met my wifey, she was actually looking for like a man like myself. We were able to connect on the basis of this consideration, rather than in spite of it.
These folks who are attracted to transmen and gender-variant people have not had any venue to seek such playmates. By having it all out in the open on this niche site, there is eventually a place to go looking. Each free profile permits users to state their gender identity and what they’re looking for. Then, the program automatically provides suggestions for matches with compatible profiles. Fat advances in technology have outpaced the online group format. The buckangeldating.com website permits for enhanced profiles, instant texts, and movie talks. This gives people the chance to talk online at will, see each other at a safe distance, and determine whether or not to take it further.
In all honesty, I’m an old fashioned kind of dude and the categories of Masculine, Female, FTM and MTF seemed to work fine for me. But gender has been undergoing a transformation that even I didn’t see coming. This created some interesting challenges with the usual format of a dating website. Fortunately, my playmate in this venture, The Dating Factory, has been very accommodating and worked with me to add more classifications to fit with some of the newer terminology that is being used. Additions include “gender queer” and “other.” Now, many a dropdown menu includes “other” but this one is different: there are individuals (non-gender conforming) who actually identify as “other!” We’re still working out the kinks, and as gender fluidity comes into it’s own, there will likely be more options down the line.
Certainly Chaz Bono’s coming out has brought this issue into the spotlight and caused greater public awareness. Yet this exposure did nothing to demystify transmale sexiness, which is where my work comes in. With the worldwide film festival screenings of my groundbreaking documentary, Sexing the Transman, it had become clear that there was tremendous interest in FTM sexiness, and very little to please that curiosity.
Years ago, when I realized there was absolutely no representation of this type of sexiness in the adult entertainment industry, I launched my own production company to pack this void. I used myself as talent, in part because no other transmen were ready to publicly demonstrate their hookup lives onscreen. It took years to build to this point where finding FTM talent and others to work with us is no longer a challenge. These days, my inbox is overflowing with messages from FTM guys who want to show up in my docu-porn series, Sexing the Transman XXX. This switch has displayed me that there had been a significant increase in the popularity of this genre, leading to more openness and acceptance.