Your phone lights up. Your online dating inbox has a fresh message. For a split 2nd, you have hope. Maybe this message will be different than all the others. Maybe you will even find this man attractive. Perhaps this email will ultimately be the one that doesn’t have you contemplating the potential rise in serial killers populating your neighborhood.
You open your inbox. Unattractive pictures. A profile written on a third grade level. And a message that seals the deal on the trifecta of feeling hopeless: “Wussup stunner. You have the most beautiful brown eyes I ever seen. Wanna talk?” You log off, wondering if online dating was ever a good idea to begin with.
If this sounds familiar, don’t get too down on your luck. The world of online dating is packed with the good, the bad and the downright ugly when it comes to suitors. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have control over your fate. Much of your fate online depends on the quality of your online dating profile.
Sub-standard profiles will attract any man. Superb profiles will attract the best fellows. Well, its time to become the best. With a bit of hard work and training, anyone can create a profile that will stand out from the competition and attract the right people. In this post, I am going to train you a few steps to help make this happen. It’s time to stop getting passed over and embark getting noticed.
1. The photo gallery is the gateway.
I hate to commence this list on a shallow note, but no matter how amazing the written portion of your profile is, if the pictures are not up to par, the majority of boys will never even read it. Sad, but true. This doesn’t mean you have to be above-average in the looks department. All it means is you have to present yourself well. Make a calculated effort to post pictures that are both flattering to your particular look while also exposing the best aspects of your personality.
Two. Provide “bait” for the reader.
Often, boys will see a profile they are attracted to, fight with what to say, get frustrated and consequently, skip to the next profile. They know they have to be interesting to get a response, but thinking of something interesting to say every single time they message a woman is very difficult.
Providing bait for the reader is the solution. Suppose you love camping. Writing in your profile that “I love camping in the summer,” doesn’t make it effortless for the reader to strike up a conversation. However, let’s suppose you switch this statement to, “I’m always up for a night of camping out under the starlets (don’t leave behind to ask me about the time I was almost attacked by a bear!).”
This fresh and improved statement provides bait for guys who want to message you. It gave them a question to ask you, making their life exceptionally effortless. The more bait you leave, the more likely boys will message you without skipping to the next profile.
Three. Do not become a walking cliche.
Let me guess. Sometimes you like go out on a Friday night, but sometimes you are OK sitting in with a glass of wine and watching a movie, right? Welcome to the, “I’m the same as every other woman on this dating site” club. If you want to stand out from the crowd, expose your personality in a unique way.
Instead, let’s switch the phrasing above to, “When I’m not out with my friends on a Friday night, I love curling up under the covers and watching a scary movie (any suggestions?).” In this revised statement, I have turned a cliche into a statement that has personality, flirts with the reader, provides bait and discusses the type of movies that I am specifically into.
Four. Use language that displays confidence.
Many boys and women unintentionally use language that displays a lack of confidence. For example, writing that “I truly hope to meet a man who is wise, joy and wonderful,” doesn’t sound terrible, but the word “hope” implies that you are the one pursuing and “hoping” things will turn out OK. It subconsciously creates the picture of a woman who has not had the best of luck with studs in the past.
By switching this statement to, “the ideal man for me is brainy, joy and spectacular,” the perception totally switches. This subtle switch portrays the pic of a woman who is certain, in control and knows what she wants. Stick to language that shows high levels of confidence whenever possible.
It is a hefty mistake to create a massive list of turnoffs, deal-breakers and qualities that you are not looking for in a fucking partner. While you may think this is a productive way to ward off unwanted suitors, all it does is make studs think that you are a negative person and possibly jaded by one too many bad dates.
The unwanted suitors are going to arrive at your inbox no matter what you do. The key to your profile is to attract the ones you do want by appearing to be a blessed, fun-loving person. At the end of the day, quality guys are attracted to positivity, not women who come across as disgruntled, overly picky and jaded.
6. Demonstrate that you can be one of the guys in your profile.
One of the best compliments a woman can ever receive is when a man tells his friends, “She’s awesome. She’s like one of the guys.” What boy wouldn’t want to bring his gf around his friends and feel totally convenient? Being “one of the guys” every now and then doesn’t just demonstrate that you are joy to string up out with, it also shows that you are not high maintenance, are down to earth and can have joy doing just about anything.
Suppose you don’t like football, but like beer and wings. You don’t have to lie and pretend to like football. But writing, “I may be a total foodie, but I am always up for a Sunday Joy Day, eating wings and drinking beer with the boys,” can go a very long way. The more you showcase that you can be a potential best friend as well as a romantic playmate, the better.
7. The one bad picture rule.
Having six pictures that generate attraction in a man can be downright ruined by a seventh picture that entirely turns a man off. Many dudes online have their guard up when it comes to photo galleries, due to the amount of people that attempt to deceive others online. Witnessing one unflattering picture is sometimes enough to make a man question everything he has seen prior to that photo. As a rule of thumb, you are only as good as your worst picture. This may seem harsh, but online dating can be a very shallow world.
For more profile writing advice from Joshua Pompey, read this free article on how to write an online dating profile, or check out Joshua Pompey’s custom-made profiles, where he has been successfully writing profiles since 2009.