Bumble, which by many has been labeled “The Feminist Tinder,” is not only one of my private beloved dating apps, it’s also one of the best downloads for single women. Unlike Tinder, Bumble permits women to have more power when it comes to their matches, you’re still meant to swipe left or right, but if you match with a boy, it’s up to you to message them within 24 hours, or else the match vanishes (and poof, no more chance to talk!) For women seeking women on the app, either person has 24 hours to make the very first stir or that connection will vanish, too. (Bonus: It also boasts a female founder, Whitney Wolfe, who was an executive at Tinder before launching Bumble.)
But like most dating apps, there are still slew of mistakes to be made when swiping along. One of the most demonstrable: Treating Bumble like it’s Tinder. Yes, the two are very similar, but the app was specifically created by Wolfe, Tinder’s co-founder, to give women a dating platform of respect and autonomy. So you shouldn’t be using it just like you use Tinder, even if all the swiping makes you feel as tho’ the two are similar.
To give you an idea of what to avoid doing, here are a few mistakes most of us are guilty of on Bumble.
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1. Not Talking With Your Matches As Soon As You Get Them
One of the best things about Bumble is that you are the one who can commence the conversation as you choose. But, if you wait to long, your matches will vanish. Jennifer Stith, the VP of Communications and Brand Development over at Bumble tells Bustle that the entire purpose of the app is to encourage you to to say something.
“The ephemeral nature of the app means you’ll have less time to sit on your forearms and will truly be introduced with a puny amount of time to determine who you truly want to talk to. We’ve found that this leads to more certain connections,” Stith says.
If you get notifications sent to your phone, the app will let you know when a match is about to expire. But, to prevent this from happening, message them soon after you become a mutual match. This way, they will know that you’re interested in pursuing a conversation, and you don’t run the risk of losing out on a potentially cool person.
Two. Neglecting To Read Their Bio
This is a common mistake when it comes to dating apps. You’re swiping along, making quick judgments based on a person’s pictures, but disregarding common interests or the few sentences they’ve determined to write about themselves. Dating apps are designed to be lightly navigated, and quick, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take a moment to find out who you’re matching with. We’re not given many words to share our life stories, so whatever words they put there, take an extra 2nd to look. This way, you may have a conversation starter for when you do match.
Similarly, don’t leave behind about yours. “Take the time to pack out a bio,” Stith says. “A little humor always goes far.”
Three. Treating Bumble Like It’s Tinder
Like I said, Bumble isn’t Tinder, and was specifically designed to be something a bit different. So don’t fall into the “swipe right to everyone” trap you may fall into when you’re Tinder-ing, and don’t sit and wait for someone else to make something happen. With Bumble, it is totally up to you — which, yes, can be scary. Wracking up matches for the sake of it also isn’t an option, because not speaking to your matches means they won’t be there the next day. Unlike Tinder, this app gives you little option but to get to know people, so embrace that!
Four. Leaving behind About Their “Shake Back” Feature
One of the cool things about Bumble (that you don’t actually have to pay extra for) is the capability to backtrack by wiggling your phone, and get back the last match you accidentally swiped left to. If your phone malfunctions (which happens because technology) or your finger grimaces to the wrong side, there is no need to fear. You can get that match back, and swipe the right way this time. Nice!
Five. Kicking off A Conversation with “Hi”
This is a rule of thumb for dating apps/websites in general. Embarking a conversation with “Hi” is boring, and unoriginal. And if the person does response you, they’ll likely have nothing original to say back. It’s hard to develop an interesting conversation from that, because you’ve already began on a pretty mundane note. You don’t have to be the most clever person that ever graced Bumble, but if you commence a convo asking them about a picture, or their “About me” (which you read) you’re sure to get a more interesting response.
6. Taking It Personally When Someone Doesn’t
Because the shoe is on the other foot for hetero women with this app, you may begin to notice that you’ve embarked some conversations, and people just aren’t answering you. Don’t take it personally. Ghosting is pretty common on all dating apps, but it’s especially felt on Bumble. For whatever reason, the person just didn’t determine to reaction. So what? Keep on swiping, and talk to the other fresh matches you’re sure to get.
But when someone does reaction you, be sure that the conversation eventually goes beyond Bumbling. “The ultimate purpose is for both parties to feel comfy enough to perhaps exchange phone numbers as a very first step and then ultimately, to meet in person. If too many messages are exchanged without this happening, it’s effortless to meet a dead end,” Stith says. So don’t be afraid to ask for their number, and embark things outside of the app.
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