Read before you get on that plane!
It may look charming, but chances are it’ll freeze parts of your figure that you didn’t even know existed.
The Land of the Long Dark Cloud
1. Colder Inwards than Outside
Fresh Zealand is a country abundant with low build-quality houses, with minimal or no insulation. Most houses also have issues with dampness. In the summer you can feel too hot, and in winter you’ll be chilled to the bone.
If at all possible, hold out for a modern, insulated house – unless of course it’s one of the leaky ones.
Two. A garden shed masquerading as a family home
Turning up the heating might temporarily add a degree or two of warmth to the garden shed you now call home, but just wait till you get your very first tens unit bill. It’s then you’ll wish you’d paid attention to point 1.
If you’ve bought a garden shed masquerading as a family home, you can insulate it, double-glaze it and install central-heating to make it equivalent to a home in another developed country. It will cost slew of money, but until you’ve lived (and frozen) in one of these old Fresh Zealand houses, you can’t truly appreciate the value of these improvements.
If you’re renting a shed, you’ll either need to foot the large fuel bills or, as Kiwis will say to you: “harden up and put on another jumper” (or a cover!). Buying and running a dehumidifier will most likely be the fastest, cheapest way to make your home a bit more convenient.
Trio. Not for the Faint Hearted
Fresh Zealand is geologically active, so you’re at risk from earthquakes, tsunamis and volcanic eruptions.
The Gold Coast. More Kiwis live in south east Queensland than live in Dunedin!
Four. Voting Against Fresh Zealand – with their feet
Hundreds of thousands of people have moved from Fresh Zealand to Australia. Since Fresh Zealand’s population is less than Four.Five million, that’s a lot of people voting with their feet for Australia and against Fresh Zealand. Every Fresh Zealand citizen has the right to live and work in Australia.
The hordes fleeing the country induce regular outpourings of angst in the media. Brief of Australia legislating against Fresh Zealanders, or Fresh Zealand introducing North Korean style legislation, Fresh Zealanders will proceed moving to Australia, where the mining boom has steadily shoved Australian wages to among the highest in the world.
The number one reason we’ve seen for non-Kiwis leaving Fresh Zealand is homesickness, usually trussed up with missing loved ones. If you have very close family or friends you will miss dreadfully when you stir to Fresh Zealand, do think cautiously before moving because…,
6. Price Gouging on Flights
Fresh Zealand is a long way from anywhere else – visible, you may think, but a lot of people leave behind about it until they actually get here, then they find it’s too expensive to visit family and friends back home every year. People from the UK and USA complain that it’s much cheaper to buy come back flights into NZ than out of NZ – observe out for that if you’re making plans.
Be careful out there, or you too could suffer from microwaved skin.
7. Wrinkly Fresh Zealand
Fresh Zealand will make you wrinkly before your time. The summer sun is very strong – much stronger than people from Europe (including the Mediterranean) or North America are used to. Sun-screen is a must, or your skin will be bruised. You can see skin harm on a lot of born and bred Fresh Zealanders, some of them not especially old. Sunglasses are also a must, because cataracts are a real risk too.
8. Fresh Zealand will drain your bank account
The cost of living for all too many grocery and consumer items will be higher than you are used to. The thick economies of scale that are present in many countries are absent in Fresh Zealand. Expect your shopping bill to be higher than it was and to have fewer choices in almost every store than you’re used to. Furnishing and equipping a home will also be expensive.
A light in the darkness
Too negative for you?…, there are other slew of positive views too. Here’s one:
Vineyards in Marlborough, NZ
We have been here over eight years.
I love this country, because it’s beautiful, our lives are so totally different to what I had experienced in the UK, I am my own boss, we have children here now, I make my own award winning wine, my wifey gets paid to work with horses (her absolute fantasy job), we often barter for produce, our kids go naked foot in school, I fish and dive, you can ski an hours drive away, you can have a entire beach to yourself, I get to have a BBQ on Christmas day, teenagers say good morning to me, business is done on a forearm jiggle,…, our puny and modest home is the best I ever possessed, I feel like a rich man in everything except money…, Read More